Fuck it. I’m just voting for you in 2028.

Ok…but the holiday special came out in like 1981.

Jasmine sung with Aladdin a whole new world.

I don’t know who Merida, Raya, and Aurora are. Must have been after my time.

“No problem. Your membership ends at the end of the month. Please come back when you’ve got your shit together and want to rejoin.”

This makes me want to join your gym. Direct to the point, no bullshit, and a bit of sass. I like it.

Ok, horrifiying implications of the main story aside, why are you on facebook at all???

God damn! How badly do you want to tickle Elmo???

So…Basically just another negative user with nothing of value to contribute besides a largely unwanted sarcastic comment?

On the base of the statue of liberty is a plaque that reads:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

What that plaque should instead say, is…

Capitalism is like a cancer that invades, infects and destroys everything it touches. When you think it about the definitions for successful capitalism and cancer are exactly the same … runaway, unrestricted and unlimited growth is the goal.

Along with something welcoming immagrants to a land where immagrants are hated, and treated as less than second class citizens in a land filled with racism and hate.

I’m not saying I support or agree with these ideas. I’m just saying if we’re going to put a plaque on a symbol of our nation, it should at least be honest.

Plot twist. I move in instead.

I’m bringing farm animals. No, I’m not a farmer. I’m going to go steal some cows. Don’t worry. I’ll let you care for them the right way. I have no clue how to care for the 24 roosters I left in your bed. Or the 13 cows I left in the attic. Fun fact, cows can walk up stairs, but not down. Also, there’s a bear in the shower, but that one wasn’t me.

You’re out of pie…

FINALLY a ghost that doesn’t look like it’s part of the klan.

I messaged a woman on fetlife. If you’ve never heard of fetlife, it’s a community for kinky people with handcuffs who want to handcuff others and do horribly sadistic things, and also for people who want to find someone to handcuff them and do horrible things to them.

All safe, sane, and consentually of coarse.

Anyways, I message a woman on fetlife. I tell her how I feel. How I want to engage in things.

Her response? Mostly positive, but amongst her other feelings she also in a first message reply to me, said she feels helpless amongst a vastly different political climate that leaves her feeling like we’re in mid 1930s germany.

And she’s not wrong. I’m not even argueing her points. I’m just saying it’s a very telling sign of the times when a man messages a woman he doesn’t know and says “Hey, I’m lonely. If you’re lonely too, lets do kinky things together” and her response, while being completely valid, is “THE NAZIS HAVE TAKEN OVER MODERN DAY!!! EVERYTHING IS A DUMPSTER FIRE!!!”

That is where we are today.

Have you tried putting down the technology and just petting the cat for hours?

God dammit weird looking shooter from PA. Why couldn’t you have the marksmanship of Lee Harvey Oswald??? That guy took a gun that was so unqualified at accuracy it was sold in catalogs as a toy. He then used it to hit 2 out of 3 shots fired. Reloading in ways that legitimate navy seals said was near impossible to do at those speeds.

Meanwhile, your target, trump, was giving the thumbs up, and fighting off secret service men trying to hold him down. All just to turn a bandage into the dumbest fashion accessory of the summer in 2024.

Ugh. We live in the dumbest timelime.

So there I was. Barbeque sauce on my titties.

If someone on social media spreads total bullshit, what happens ? Nothing.

Thats not true. They become president.

Damn…I’m always low.

Friendly reminder. VW was founded by the nazis as a nazi car.

This is like what would happen if Bill Nye needed to worry about sweeps.

And a 34x convicted convict. And a pedophile.

Don’t let him off the hook.

Have you ever seen a ducks penis? Just be glad whatever genitals you have isn’t a ducks penis. It’s so fucked up that they don’t even GET a bathroom. They just pee in the drinking water. They pee in lakes. Ponds. Your bathtub. They pee anywhere they want, any time they want.

Thats why they all hang out at parks, and the government doesn’t stop them. Think about it man. You don’t see lions and tigers and bears at the park…because Disney owns the rights to The Wizard of Oz. So you can’t see those animals for free! They gotta get locked up in jail and then they call it a zoo, and charge you $22.50 per adult, and $12 per child under 12. Except on Mondays where it’s free if you’re a local resident of the county.

But they don’t do that with ducks. You know what else Disney owns? The Mighty Ducks. Darkwing Duck.

And NOBODY is paying money to see those properties. So they don’t arrest the ducks, because theres no profit there. Follow the money. It all leads back to those crazy duck penis’s, and nobody wants to admit that Howard the Duck is officially a Marvel character, living in the same MCU as Spiderman, and Ironman, and the X-Men.

THATS why ducks don’t have bathrooms, while humans fight over things like trans athletes being allowed to play sports in college, and throwing green dildos at female basketball players to promote cryptocurrencies.

We live in the dumbest timeline.