Well yes, it has come a long way in the past few years. I used to get so mad because we are a better city to live in but St. Pete’s downtown knocked it out of the park, absolute gem of a downtown and ours sucked.

But ours has gotten so much livelier, it’s not just the Tampa Theater and convention center and the Hub, there are a bunch of apartments downtown, the kids of the Columbia people opened a really good restaurant, the city built a much better Riverwalk, there are people out in the nights, concerts, events, it’s completely different.

BTW, when I was growing up we would go downtown on the weekend and it was an absolute ghost town, we wandered the empty streets and made up stories about the buildings. And you could buy houses in Tampa Heights for almost nothing, now they are millions of dollars.

Thonotasassa still sucks

Not just couples. I was aghast to learn that my fellow parents at work track the location of their teenage kids. All of them, except me. What the fuck? If I want to know where they are I text and ask.

What’s more - half of them also have it turned on in the other direction.

This is crazy to me. I want my kids to grow into adults and I’m not going to surveil them all the time. I think a kid of teen age has some reasonable expectation of privacy. We are close, I have a good relationship with my kids but not THAT close, I don’t need to know if you stopped at Wawa on your way home.

Almost nothing worse than a thin skinned bully. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it.

I’m going to agree with bread. I do make bread but if it could just stay first day fresh (or second day fresh for sourdough rye) from first slice to last, that would be great.

Miami is purple at least. The old guard Cubans are Republicans, the last governor race not so representative. St. George in Utah is really nice, though maybe a town more than a city.

Tampa is nice but all of our potentially fixable problems are from the conservative outlying areas, as so much of the government is county not city. it would be much nicer with more money going to transit in particular.

I met a guy when I was that age, adult but not old. Friends, hung out with other people. The minute I turned 16 he asked me out. I declined and it was no big deal but who does that?

Why is it 20 or 35 if you are 30, and not, well, 30?

Date someone you like! Just go out with some guys and figure out what you like.

It’s so funny (not in a good way) to see this change - I grew up going to drag shows, there is still so much gay culture here, and it’s such a a diverse place, no matter what axis you spin it on. We know trans people (one of my kids among them, but older people too) and there isn’t much discrimination “on the ground” here, my trans kid got a job the same place my other kids did, and only HR keeps the paperwork with physical sex as gender, in practice they are treated as they choose. And that’s at a nominally religious place. In school too, the teachers and kids did not care, just took it in stride. The outright hostility in Tallahassee is insane, but it doesn’t translate to hostility in the city here. Or not yet at least.

Make Florida Freaky Again. That will be my platform if ever I run for governor.

The stinky water is because they let you use reclaimed water for watering a lawn, it’s hella efficient and good for the plants. Gardens don’t need drinking water. It does smell bad but is a good thing.

I grew up with the opposite expectations (that a grown woman’s sexuality should be a take charge sort of desire) and it took me a ridiculously long time to come to terms with what I like in the bedroom.

But in terms of daily life? No. Wanting a partner, a true partner who doesn’t expect you to make all the decisions is 100% normal, average, and healthy attitude. Wanting someone to initiate intimacy half the time is also not at all outrageous, nor do I think it unusual.

I always think that just because something turns you on, doesn’t make it a good way to run your life and certainly not the world! Those are different questions entirely.

ETA one of the things that helped me understand my own desires was realizing that submissive != passive, not at all. Even within the subset of women who might prefer you to lead in bed, there are more who will be active participants who want to please you, and in the process, get off themselves, yes? I think that passivity comes from fear.

And even more people are “vanilla”, as it’s called, and exactly like your fantasy above, into sex without power play, fun and loving sex.

They let us know their thinking here. I don’t personally have a dog in this fight, live a few blocks from the office so either way is fine with me. They landed on “hybrid” but now I just work at the office and do not bring my laptop home.

Their thinking:

Collaboration really is better in the office, zoom does not replace the experience of just being here and aware of conversations around you (fair enough) we are already paying for the office (not a real reason, could sublease, we already did with half of it).

My thinking (they don’t care but) working from home benefits the rest of my family more than it does me. I can bike to work and do. Reclaimed the space in my house that was office, and absolutely ignore work when I’m home. Certainly would not force anyone else to, like my job did, but glad to have a space to work outside my house.

Picked jalapeno is fantastic on pizza, pickled onion also good, I’d try it.

I think all states probably have ok cities in them somewhere, and that it depends on your preferences but I would never live in Alaska.

And all states have downsides too. Mississippi and Oklahoma have the worst schools. Florida and Texas have crazy politicians. Wyoming doesn’t want you there. Colorado has angry ranchers and pretentious yuppies. California has Bakersfield.

I make a wishlist. In Excel. With a due date. For small things, six weeks wait.

For something like a motorcycle, six months wait.

Then if I still want it when that day comes I buy it

So like reverse sear? I do this with ribs, low and slow then broiler, but oh my kids love a big hunk of pork, usually I do in the slow cooker but I guess low oven could be a set-it-and-forget it thing too.

Do you have a good idea of what you have, and just don’t know where it is? I struggle with organization (understatement) so mostly have to aggressively edit, throw things out. But we are in a medium sized house now and not planning to move so I’ve been working on it for 5 years or so.

As you asked about equipment or furniture - I have those strong wire shelves like you’d find in a commercial kitchen, they can hold anything, and look ok, if you have room for one of those I recommend.

Clothes in a closet with a basket for things that need to be laundered is where I would start, then a bookshelf, then one of those strong steel wire shelves for other stuff - I have one for non-perishable foods and cooking equipment (cook a lot) another in a big closet for “everything else” - gardening stuff, batteries, cords, chemicals, Halloween decorations, etc. With each category on these shelves having a zone.

The big shelf is good because you can open one box and arrange it’s contents on the shelf, then another, and you can see it more easily. Your categories may become more obvious as you work.

I know some legit organized people but can’t do what they do, I get overwhelmed when there is too much. And no it’s never done, like really done.

In terms of advice, what stuck with me was if you haven’t used something in a long time give it away. Sure you may need another in five years but that’s five years you didn’t have it taking up space in your home and your mind.

Opposite. I would strongly prefer an experienced partner. So I guess I’d have a minimum, and not sure if I’d have a max. Though I also haven’t ever “counted” so I would find it odd if someone with a lot of partners had kept count.

When my kids were babies and slept in our bed, people would tell me “they need to learn to sleep alone” and I would laugh and tell them no, sleeping alone is so easy, you have to have practice to be able to sleep with someone else. All of them transitioned very easily to sleeping alone, because it is so easy.

Not on my own behalf, but have helped others a couple of times.

I’m closer to your age than hers. Yes it’s creepy to tell someone half your age that they look good naked. Yes even if it’s a nude friendly event. It’s not assault, that’s a stretch. But you could have said something more like “noticed your tattoos when we were at the sauna, I love them!” if you absolutely had to comment on her appearance.

In general - it’s unlikely a young woman, in any setting, will appreciate comments about her body from strangers. Even if actively working on said body at the gym. There just is no call for that unless they are a close friend and you know them well enough to know it’s ok.

Humboldt Fog is the best cheese I’ve ever tasted, and it’s from the U.S. Cabot Cheddar I would compare favorably to other cheddars, we have some good cheeses here.

Parmesan though? I would just buy less & still get the reggiano. Sometimes I just stand by the display and smell it, it is so good.