As I went from visibly trans to passing, my relationship with my partner went from an obviously queer one to what most people now assume is a platonic friendship between two cis women.
I personally feel like I’m in a more queer relationship now, but the queerness disappears to others due to heteronormative eyes. It does not seem to make a difference that we hold hands in public, that I engage in touch and other PDA.
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
rollercoaster
and yet men for the most part remain entirely clueless, it’s enraging that the very standards imposed by patriarchy are not even within the consciousness of men who benefit from them - it is the women who know the standards they must live by, and the men get to live blissfully unaware.
A woman might fret over fluctuating sizes from an XS to a S, while a man might see her and only judge her for being too skinny or too fat or not pretty enough or too pretty without ever knowing what size she is.
I feel ironically the greatest capacity and my biggest fears of judgement come not from men and patriarchs but from women, who see with much greater detail and know the standards better than men - they know my “value” under the calculus of patriarchy better than the patriarchs do.
I think “inclusive” in the context of a women-only community means it’s a women’s space that doesn’t exclude lesbians and trans women (or other LGBT+ folks who feel they belong in a women-only space, like some enbies and so on).