they’re the wettest regions on earth.

Not according to your mom last night.

Idea for any leftist bakeries out there: charge military members even more, veterans even more still. Refuse to make them cake! Make a big deal about it. Enjoy your free national media attention. Send me a little cut.

Sounds like you’re just salty my cancer is at an all-time high and yours isn’t.

New England North South West seems confusingly named.

“I wish I knew how to quit you, because you have destroyed my internal organs.”

Humpback, indeed!

Although not Jean creamingly if you are me

Edit: I finally understand. “Jean-creamingly.” Ejaculating in denim, not a first name. 10-4.

Mario, voiced by Chris Pratt, will become the new Siri, then the new persona for all AI.

In the future, all global affairs will be divided across the lines of Team Mario and Team Luigi. Then the final battle, then the end.

I feel like it can’t even be close. What would even compete? I know I’ve gone a little overboard with my external hard drive, but I don’t think even I’m to that level.

Why do billionaires always look like creepy Madame Tussauds wax statues?

Like Jesus. Makes you wonder.

Geico caveman.

How is KDE Wayland Immutable Atomic? Been meaning to try it.

Goodbye!

…works every time…

When you make eye contact, show him a picture of you and his mother out for a nice seafood dinner.

Legit never seen a taste like that.

If it were me, I’d be skimming a little to sell on the side to take advantage of those black market prices.

Vintage Hulk Fucks Black Widow GIF - $500

You drive a hard bargain. A 10% cut it is. Thank you, I deserve that.

The Dream Team didn’t even have e-mail.