If they are good at things and make me feel like I’m good at stuff then why bother counting. A high body count could mean they cheat or move on easily. … or not… so I really don’t put any weight behind it.
I get why it can be intimidating or insecurity provoking to be with an experienced partner but all that really matters is how you connect with them. If they don’t give you a reason to make their body count matter, then I wouldn’t call it a red flag.
I can seriously relate to that feeling of hopeless unfulfilment. I struggle with slipping into and out of that place myself. What I find helps the most are little things. Small acts of self care that, over time, help me reach out again and grasp the belief that I can change things. Whatever you do and wherever you go, it has to start with the belief that things can get better, even if you don’t see how.
Just focus on little things. Improve your life in small controllable ways. Don’t worry about big problems or permanent solutions. Living well is all about momentum. You start building steam one coal at a time.
I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD until I was nearly done with college and a lot of what I just read felt very familiar.
You said you wanted general advice so I will try to keep this broad:
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! You don’t need to see the end from the beginning to know that walking forward will get you nearer to your goal. When you try to look at the whole project or list of projects at once it’s going to feel overwhelming. That’s not going to change. You just have to get comfortable with it and learn to keep moving forward even if you can’t rationalize your way through everything at once.
If it’s worth doing at all, it’s worth doing poorly. You said you want more storage furniture but you can’t get it yet because you don’t know how much stuff you have to store. Well I think you should go out and get some shelves anyway. Even if it isn’t the exact amount of storage you need, it’s still worth doing because it’s still better than nothing and it still gets you closer to your goal. If you find you need more later then get more later. Your stuff is also variable. Things are bound to come and go while you figure this out. It’s okay to work on being “better” knowing it still won’t be “perfect”
Forget about the ideal life you want to lead. That part is a daydream. It’s a fairytale we tell ourselves for a variety of reasons. What is real is what is now and that’s where you should start grounding yourself. Build systems that work for you today and get you closer to where you want to be. If you want to change those systems later because they don’t serve you anymore then go ahead. That’s okay. Like I mentioned earlier, if it’s worth doing then it’s worth doing poorly. Don’t try to just jump in to your ideal life. That is just setting yourself up for failure. Build systems that work for you now but better. If you need to rebuild those systems later because your needs changed then that’s okay. In fact it’s great because it shows how much you have grown.
If you are open to reading suggestions, there is a book called Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey (both are M.D. s) about ADHD. I’m not trying to diagnose you or anything but this book changed my life. If you feel like I used to (and it sounds like you might) then this book might be helpful to you, ADHD or not.
If I had infinite money I would give it all away but my real opinion is a lot more closed-hearted.
I grew up in a drug town in the US and over time my will to help just died.
I knew some people in active addiction and every time we were out they would notice someone begging and say “hey, I know them! I have used with them. They are NOT homeless” or something to that effect.
I have seen people use their kids as props. I have seen people leave the corner and hop in their expensive af vehicle. I have seen people rob whoever stopped to help them. The list goes on and on.
It’s genuinely unsafe to get involved. Sure, most people aren’t like that but I can’t tell the difference and it only takes one. Besides that, if I gave a dollar to everyone who asked, I would have nothing left. I have to worry about me and mine.
Maybe if I grew up in a safer neighborhood I would feel differently but you don’t un-learn survival and I stopped carrying cash all together because of this.
Hot take:
End it… Just canonize a subset of the lore, remake that subset from beginning to end so it tells one concise story, and let it be done.
The real problem with Star Wars is that the lore keeps getting milked. It isn’t a story at all anymore. It’s just an IP. A cash cow to be milked. A dead horse for beating. Nothing they change now will fix that unless they uproot everything and remake it into something respectable.
Help me step bro I’m stuck in the washing machine!
Not great. Thanks for asking.
It is materially different because a person with dementia can’t legally advocate for themselves so it is easier for an action against them to be considered a crime.
I’m down to 28 now. Apparently some of them saw this thread …
Fraud in the sense that the guy is lying and profiting from it, sure. But the common / google definition of a word and the legal definition/ application of that word are two completely different things.
I mean the article itself is apparently satire so yeah.
I’m no legal scholar by any means but I think in America this would be a civil suit not a criminal case unless the amount of money involved was tremendous.
I won’t even try to guess how it would shake out in Japan.
Your grandma having dementia changes the formula a bit.
As I said in another reply, my thinking is thus:
It’s a poor definition because gift exchanges are strictly voluntary and non-reciprocal engagements. I’m not saying what he did was ok or even legal in other contexts. My only point is that I wouldn’t consider this fraud because the victims were not compelled to give. This isn’t a Nigerian prince scam where the victims were promised greater returns at a later date. These victims gave with the expectation of monetary loss.
It’s a poor definition because gift exchanges are strictly voluntary and non-reciprocal engagements. I’m not saying what he did was ok or even legal in other contexts. My only point is that I wouldn’t consider this fraud because the victims were not compelled to give. This isn’t a Nigerian prince scam where the victims were promised greater returns at a later date. These victims gave with the expectation of monetary loss.
Old carpet will show wear as people kick / drag against the backs of the steps. This is especially true for cheaper construction where the steps don’t have the typical overhang.
In America this is the default method for small amounts of hot water.
At the top-left corner of the image we see a support bracket for the hand rail. The orientation of this bracket only seems to make sense if we are at the bottom of the stairs looking up at the mattress. The shadow cast by the mattress also looks like the light is above and slightly closer to the camera.
If we were at the top looking down, that would imply that the hand rail brackets were sideways instead of being vertical, and that the light was mounted on the wall instead of the ceiling. I have seen stranger things in construction but it would still be strange and unlikely.
Hoping that isn’t real because that’s kind of an f-ed up definition for fraud. Also, what a legend.
Can’t be sad about being poor if you just stop wanting things.