• 4 Posts
  • 164 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • This restated question is not the problem directly.

    The problem is the entire discussion/concept of “exposure to a dangerous idea in a pretend context maybe might maybe make someone more likely to emulate it in reality” when there has been little to no evidence found supporting that concept. Additionally the non-proportional amount of concern given to videogames in relationship to this concept as compared to literally any other form of media.

    If there was even one iota of connection between “exposure to horrible things in media” (or even “pretending to do horrible things in a pretend context”) and “doing horrible things in real life”, the world would already look considerably different than it does. Militaries would be using these games as “exposure therapy” for soldiers. We’d be seeing crime rates of all sorts shifting in accordance with the media industries. There would already be measurable impacts after the decades of these things existing.

    And more so than any of that: This discussion has literally been happening for longer than any of us here have been alive. I’m tired of having it.

    Please stop letting the vague idea of “but it might help” override the logic of “but there’s no evidence to support that except a vague gut feeling”.


  • Tell me again how you’ve not actually read up on the issues with crypto as payment processor.

    This shit has already been tried and the issues discussed at length. I think it was Mullvad that stopped accepting BTC and did an extensive writeup on why.

    In short: the constantly shifting conversion rates make this unsustainable, as even if they accepted payment in crypto, they have to pay their bills in fiat currency. So their choices are to have crypto prices change literally every page load to reflect the exchange rate, or to just eat extra costs when suddenly 0.51btc goes from being worth $5 when the user pays to being worth $1 when they try to use it for anything else. Even with constantly updating prices, the shifting rates screwing them will still happen. The costs associated with even offering it as a payment type outweigh the actual revenue generated by an extreme order of magnitude, and even privacy/crypto oriented storefronts see something like under 1% of users using the option when it’s available.

    And that’s my understanding of the short version.

    There’s a big difference between “prioritizing short term profit” and “committing commercial/financial suicide to make a point”.





  • Short term profits? How are they supposed to make any profits if payment processors refuse to process payments to them? They can’t just spin up their own fucking payment processor.

    Beyond that, how does limiting the sale of any products make them money?

    I swear, were none of you people paying attention when this happened to the right wing ghouls in the lead up to the 2016 election? Nothing of value was lost (or would have been), but Visa, Mastercard, etc have already shown they aren’t above using their position in the transfer of money to enforce their will.

    Edit: Can’t believe I forgot about the payment processors playing games with Wikileaks. For shame. Would have been a much better example.



  • Please get off your high horse and stop making assumptions. I’ve literally laid four eldery family members in the ground over the past 3 years. For some reason I’m always asked to be a pallbearer and I’m never going to say no.

    All of them required care. While my wife and I weren’t full time caregivers (living 8 hours away will do that), we’ve done more than enough time in the trenches. Nearly all our time off from work from 2018-2022 went into help and care for elderly relatives. Everything beyond our own days off sick or for Dr’s appointments. Weeks at a time of giving round the clock care. It only stopped once stable care had been sorted out and we decided to start IVF (with the blessing of those family members still able to communicate so) to try and have a kid.

    I’ve also been minorly involved in a few hirings. Not directly making the decision, but part of the “meet your potential co-workers” interview. Talked extensively with my boss about the approach, and read up quite a bit about the process. My feedback was part of the decision.

    Your points are valid, to a point. Caregivers do tend to underestimate the work involved, and the skills required. It can be, and quite often is, some of the hardest work out there to navigate all the shit involved while watching a loved one slowly die. It changes you.

    Edit: and yes, I know caregivjng is not always related to loved ones, elderly, end of life, pallative, etc.

    But I would still caution against listing it as direct job experience. Again, I would suggest listing it under an “Other Experience” section with any other skills from volunteering or personal life if they are particularly significant.

    Resumes are all about making a good first impression, and there are tons of people out there who would see “Full time caregiver” and mentally file it the same as if someone listed “Stay at home parent”. I mean they would view it as an excuse and a cop out. It’s not necessarily fair, but I’m trying to be realistic here.

    does this mean absolutely nothing to people?

    Yes, this exactly. Anyone who hasn’t had direct exposure to the mechanics of elder care isn’t going to get it. That’s not a smart gamble to make on a first impression when job hunting unless you absolutely have to go all in on that gamble.





  • Stop trying to find people to approch solely for the goal of romance. Or for any goal besides getting to know them.

    You aren’t getting told “good advice on how to approach someone for romantic purposes” because generally you need to treat them the same way you’d want to be approached by a (potentially unattractive) stranger without sexual or romantic intentions. Stop this thought process of thinking about people and social interactions as some sort off transactional “insert set of actions and tactics, recieve sex/kisses/romance/physical touch/friend”. Or thinking about social interactions in terms of seeking a goal.

    You meet the person first. Establish some level of baseline non-romantic non-sex no external motivations relationship first. Then you try to expand to more. This doesn’t have to be some extended drawn out process, it can even all happen same day, but they are discrete steps.

    I met my wife at an acquaintence’s graduation party, where all of my otherwise mutual friends with the graduate were out of town. Saw someone else who looked like they weren’t sure what to do with themselves and struck up a conversation as something to pass the time. Did I find her physically attractive? Sure. But I wasn’t going in to try and make anything of it but small talk.

    We hit it off with conversation about our backgrounds, found that we had similar interests, and ended up spending multiple hours together. Just talking, for the most part like I would talk to any of my long term male friends. I still wasn’t trying for anything except “This person is really interesting and I want to spend more time together.” So when things were wrapping up I said as much. Something simple like “Hey, I’d love to hang out with you again sometime! Can we exchange numbers?”

    The “oh, I want to try dating her” didn’t occur to me until that night when I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t actually ask her out on a date until around a month later, and it was to something that I was going to go do by myself regardless. If we went out together and it was just friendly, I would have been sad, but it wouldn’t have ruined the evening’s plans or anything.

    You don’t need to hang around in “the friend zone” just being “a nice guy”, but going into casual interactions with explicit goals of sex or romance will really fuck with the entire way you interact with people. It’s not how you would want to be approached by a (in this case imagine unattractive and 3000% not your type) stranger, so don’t subject others to it.


    Edit: Secondly, shy and introverted is a big hurdle. I live that too.

    But you’ll only get better at socializing through trying it (and probably sucking at it, I did). It sucks, but building socializing and related soft skills opens all sorts of doors in life, whether it comes naturally to you or as something hard won.

    Again, focus on general socialization skills. It’s not something reasonably min-maxed, and people will see through goal oriented socializing, especially if you aren’t super skilled at it.