You don’t. Trying anyway and risking being a creep is what will make some women hate you and others love you. This is how assortative matching works. But if everything you say is inoffensive to everyone, then you will always be boring and will therefore never line up dates.
Like, this is Lemmy, so I’ll use this example. If you put the fact that you are a communist in your datinf profile, the vast majority of women will think that is super cringy edgelord shit, and you’re an idiot. (And I cannot overstate this - the vast, vast majority of women). But some women will think “omg, yesss!!! Finally a guy who gets it!!”.
Similarly, if you put “Looking for someone to tie up in the bedroom”, some women (fewer than the number who think communism is cringe, though) will call you a psycho rapist. But the rope bunnies out there will think “omg, yessss!!! Tie me up, daddy!!”
I see most profiles trying to be all things to all people.
You describe “success” well. When I was younger I played the game of averages. If nine girls thought I was a creep but the tenth was impressed that was fine. I would get a phone number most nights which resulted in a date.
But eventually this felt degrading for all concerned (especially for the nine) and it wasn’t leading to high quality dates. I finally saw simply getting laid as an inane goal.
No, this is genuinely correct. I guess if all you care about is getting laid it might be a detriment
Being yourself is the only way anything will ever work out long term. A relationship started by pretending to be someone else isn’t sustainable. If being yourself doesn’t let you click with anyone at all, maybe go see a therapist and work on yourself.
I mean, my lol was tongue in cheek. Of course, you should be genuine. But if you are genuinely a boring person, you should put effort into becoming a more interesting person. Then you can be both genuine and interesting.
You’re on a dating app. You’re supposed to be fun and flirty.
How do you know what someone will find fun and flirty as opposed to creepy and desperate if you don’t know anything about them?
You don’t. Trying anyway and risking being a creep is what will make some women hate you and others love you. This is how assortative matching works. But if everything you say is inoffensive to everyone, then you will always be boring and will therefore never line up dates.
Like, this is Lemmy, so I’ll use this example. If you put the fact that you are a communist in your datinf profile, the vast majority of women will think that is super cringy edgelord shit, and you’re an idiot. (And I cannot overstate this - the vast, vast majority of women). But some women will think “omg, yesss!!! Finally a guy who gets it!!”.
Similarly, if you put “Looking for someone to tie up in the bedroom”, some women (fewer than the number who think communism is cringe, though) will call you a psycho rapist. But the rope bunnies out there will think “omg, yessss!!! Tie me up, daddy!!”
I see most profiles trying to be all things to all people.
You describe “success” well. When I was younger I played the game of averages. If nine girls thought I was a creep but the tenth was impressed that was fine. I would get a phone number most nights which resulted in a date.
But eventually this felt degrading for all concerned (especially for the nine) and it wasn’t leading to high quality dates. I finally saw simply getting laid as an inane goal.
No you’re supposed to be yourself.
lol
No, this is genuinely correct. I guess if all you care about is getting laid it might be a detriment
Being yourself is the only way anything will ever work out long term. A relationship started by pretending to be someone else isn’t sustainable. If being yourself doesn’t let you click with anyone at all, maybe go see a therapist and work on yourself.
I mean, my lol was tongue in cheek. Of course, you should be genuine. But if you are genuinely a boring person, you should put effort into becoming a more interesting person. Then you can be both genuine and interesting.
Or focus on getting love from community rather than romance. Our culture unfortunately only focuses on the latter because it drives the economy.
Or you might be wanting to find someone with compatible interests. OK probably not on Tinder.