What’s wrong with getting married for money? As long as your upfront about it and the other person is ok with it then what’s the problem?
I really want to get married. It’s my plan to marry someone who is rich and become a stay at home wife. I don’t have much going for me and it’s the only way I can think of to get rich and not work at Burger King forever.
If your only other option is to work at a fast food place forever you’re unlikely to meet someone wealthy to marry. Society is segregated by class.
So… While the responsible adult in me wants to discourage this approach to making a livelihood simply because it puts ones entire life into the hands of someone who has little motivation to treat it with the love and respect it deserves, the nerd in my wants to point out the tangentially related fun fact that fast casual restaurants like Applebee’s are notably where America’s poor and wealthy are most likely to cross paths.
Not disagreeing with you, just sharing a fun fact that isn’t really related to the subject at hand. And OP, do not take this to mean you should go work at a chili’s.
Well first, this is not as achievable as you think.
Marrying into money means meeting a partner with money which means spending money. You think they’re gonna hang out at the local bowling alley? Like genuinely, just use this motivation to network and look for a job without linked in. That would at least allow you to make gains of either gender.
At the very least, you should multi-task. Makes you look less like a gold digger too.
Second even if you find a perfect partner. Unless they are rich rich, if anything happens you become a widow with no job history. You think a 21 year old with no job experience sucks? Try a 48 year old with no job history. That partner is going to be a single point of failure and even if you love eachother deeply, they will die someday, and it’s not guaranteed to be when you’re 90.
Also others have hit on this but you are betting on a partner. You have two competing interests, you don’t want a monster, but you also want to be taken care of. Be… be very aware that the people you would be most worried about, are looking for someone with your goals, persuading someone to have your goals, and are gonna try to raise your need for safety, and lower your expectations.
In some ways… being honest with your goal can almost be ringing the dinner bell to a monster.
Because often that type of relationship is highly abusive and the power structure is horribly lopsided. Inherently there is nothing wrong with money being a priority in a relationship, but in my experience the people who set out with that goal often end up very unhappy because a relationship based on money becomes transactional in its every nature.
The “good” partners wont be interested in a partner who is just there for money, so they wont be interested in you.
You do you, but i dont know any happy gold diggers, or people with a sugar partner with the exception of a single couple, and in that case the husband had a high paying job but his wife’s income was 10x his so he was not working because they needed the money so they decided he should be a state at home parent. He sees his job as being eye candy for her, he takes care of all kid related things, cleans the house every day, and then spends 2-4hr a day at the gym so he is in peak physical form for her.
When you’re a purchase and not a partner you will be treated like one.
Like what? Cherished, valued and looked after?
Unfortunately, traded out when a newer model comes along.
No one would be able to cook like me.
Do you really think you are such a good cook that you are better than every other person who has the option to be a house spouse? Especially after 10 years or so of your significant other getting bored of your cooking.
But I bet she can order DoorDash with his money.
I don’t like DoorDash. It gives me the ick. I don’t know why.
You aren’t the one who would be ordering it. The replacement would.
Lol.
Respected
I’m just saying, rich men can pick and choose from gorgeous women. Being physically attractive isn’t enough, those dynamics stop working when serious money and/or status is involved. They will choose women who have more going on for them than that, provided they are even okay with a transactional relationship. Rich marries rich.
And then, if you get “in” so to say, you definitely should expect to be reduced to the transactional nature of the relationship. He pays for everything, so you are expected to fulfill the role of a fuckmaid. Once you are no longer as attractive as the other 20somethings looking to land a rich husband he will likely cheat on you and/or just divorce you. With a prenup.
What’s wrong with getting married for money? As long as your upfront about it and the other person is ok with it then what’s the problem?
If both people are onboard, its okay I guess. However, I imagine someone that is rich and okay taking on a partner with no love in relationship is going to have a lot of choices of people to pick from for the position of “stay at home partner”. I’m guessing that you’d have to bring a lot to the table to win out over your competition. If I were not the rich one, I’d also be worried about the end-game. A soon as whatever got me the rich partner fades, what would prevent my rich partner from dumping me and trading up to someone that has what I had years prior? You can bet anyone rich will make you sign a prenup, so you won’t be walking away with very much when it ends.
The deep loving relationship is what keeps partners together long after looks, charisma, and cognition fade with the passing years and advanced aging. Getting old sucks for everyone and there’s nothing we can do to escape it. Getting old alone without my loving partner sounds like hell.
"If both people are onboard, its okay I guess. However, I imagine someone that is rich and okay taking on a partner with no love in relationship is going to have a lot of choices of people to pick from for the position of “stay at home partner”.
Who says there won’t be love? We can still love each other. He would love me and give me what he has to give and I will love him and give him and give him what I have to give. I’m sure there’s lots of competition. I never said there wasn’t. I just need to be the best somehow.
“I’m guessing that you’d have to bring a lot to the table to win out over your competition.”
Well, that’s subjective. It would be up to person to decide if I’m the one.
“If I were not the rich one, I’d also be worried about the end-game.”
I don’t just want money. A nice ass and cute face would also be nice.
“A soon as whatever got me the rich partner fades, what would prevent my rich partner from dumping me and trading up to someone that has what I had years prior?”
This could happen in any relationship. The only difference is that you wouldn’t have benefited as much as you would have with the rich man.
“The deep loving relationship is what keeps partners together long after looks, charisma, and cognition fade with the passing years and advanced aging.”
Incredibly vague concepts. Things like “charisma” and “looks” are nice but I also care about the material and literal in a relationship.
“Getting old sucks for everyone and there’s nothing we can do to escape it. Getting old alone without my loving partner sounds like hell.”
You know what else sounds like hell? All of those things but in a tin house being paid for by the Burger King paycheck.
You asked about marrying for money. Now you say you want to marry a rich person for love. These are two different situations.
No guys you don’t get it.
She’ll love his money
One question I realize I need to ask: You said you want to marry someone rich. How much money would the partner have to be considered “rich” by your definition. $100k? $1M? $10M? $100M?
Who says there won’t be love?
Well, you made a post specifically about marrying for money and not one mentioning love. So you’re saying you want to get married for money and love? I would think that’s an even higher bar to overcome. I would think you’d face even tougher competition for partners that weren’t even interested in the money, but would end up loving the rich partner for them in spite of their money. I’d think that would be a harder sell when you’re indicating to this person that you’re in it for their money.
I’m sure there’s lots of competition. I never said there wasn’t. I just need to be the best somehow.
There’s the rub. So you’ll have two very very difficult tasks ahead of you on this path:
- Finding a partner that would be willing to marry you when they are agreeing its just for their money (which was your original premise)
- Somehow being “the best” at whatever it is that partner is looking for when they have likely thousands of partners to choose from.
Its not impossible, its just not very likely.
This could happen in any relationship. The only difference is that you wouldn’t have benefited as much as you would have with the rich man.
It happens in many relationships, yes, but what you were describing previously was a relationship based on money, not love. The difference is that if the attributes that made you attractive to the rich partner aren’t there, and there was never love, then there would be little reason for the rich partner to keep the one that married just for money.
Incredibly vague concepts. Things like “charisma” and “looks” are nice but I also care about the material and literal in a relationship.
I wasn’t talking about what you gain from the relationship, I was referring to what the rich partner gains. If the looks and charisma disappear (as they likely will with age), and those were the things that the rich partner married for, and they knew you just wanted the money (again, your original premise), why would they continue the marriage?
I wish you luck in your path, but I would encourage you to have a second plan for a path forward. Plan A here isn’t very likely or sustainable.
Nothing, as long as everyone involved is aware and agrees.
Negotiate everything ahead of time, be prepared to also have to enforce the agreements periodically since anyone making that kind of transactional merger of lives is going to be prone to wanting to renegotiate when life throws the unexpected at the couple.
Just be aware that marrying into wealth means you’re going to have to bring more to the table than just being a stay at home wife. Even upper middle class folks that are willing to take a trophy wife damn well expect them to be a trophy, not just a random asshole off the street. The higher the income bracket, the more you’ll need to offer for a transactional relationship.
Think about it. With enough money, a random woman or man can adopt on their own, so they don’t need a spouse for kids. They can hire a surrogate as far as that goes if it just has to be bio kids; then hire nannies. They can throw money around for sex, for housekeeping, even conversation. So you’d have to be damn good at a lot of things to make it more beneficial than just spending directly.
If someone has the kind of income to fully support a partner, and it isn’t a love match, they’re going to expect you to hold up your end of the bargain. If that’s head twice a day every day, and you have allergies that make it impossible during the summer, shit ain’t gonna go well. And there is almost certainly going to be a minimum amount of sexual activity expected. Might not be much, but unless your rich partner is asexual, or otherwise eschews sex, it’s going to be part of the transaction, and it’s just a fact that customers expect prostitutes to perform for the money.
You gotta work that out, what happens if one or both of you get sick, become disabled, change significantly on a physical level, etc. Hammer that shit out before there’s a legal binding.
There’s nothing wrong with it if two people go clear eyed about it. But relationships always have layers of hidden expectations. Mutual love and respect can navigate those rocky times.
I don’t have much going for me
Since this relationship is purely transactional, what do you have to offer? What do you have to offer that they can’t just buy without the long term liability?
You seem to be a diagnosed narcissist, which might explain your perspective on this.
I am but very ableist response. Also, how would it explain my perspective on this?
I mean if you want to sell yourself to someone as a house pet, who am I to say you can’t?
I’ve always been jealous of cats.
Nothing’s wrong with it if you’re both in on the agreement and happy with it.
As for “not having much going for you”–you have some kind of device to access the internet. If you ignore the 98% of the internet that is dystopian cesspool, there are lots of great learning resources out there. You can compose a message with good grammar and convey your thoughts. You probably have more going for you than you think compared to the average person out of the 8 billion others out there.
That’s how it is on paper. I suck at learning things. I spent 20 years in state education and can barely remember anything. I have an intellectual disability which makes it hard for me to learn things.
Out of curiosity, how do you plan on landing your rich future husband?
Single out places where rich people reside and establish myself. At that point it’s for them to decide if they like me. I know what men like so I make sure to workout so I can have a slim waist and a fat ass. I also make sure to keep my breasts perky, my skin moisturized, my body shaven, my lips soft and my makeup on point. Outside of the service level stuff I know men like girls who are helpful and supportive and are good at chores like cleaning and cooking.
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Well at least you have a plan of sorts. My advice to you would be don’t let yourself get knocked up and do not develop any kind of substance abuse problems. Guys who are self made aren’t dumb or desperate and any of those things would be a non-starter.
I think it’s like you said, if everyone involved is on the same page then who’s to say you’re wrong? Especially if you’re both happy with the situation.
Thanks👍
It won’t last, and the kids will be worse off for it.
There’s two good LPTs. Don’t expect things to never end and don’t have kids unless you’re committed to giving them a good home and upbringing.
I’m not even being salty. Global avg divorce rate stats don’t seem to factor into modern civilizations’ idolization of “forever and ever”, as the abject surprise when their own marriage disintegrates is a full-on trope that just keeps truckin’, generation after generation. Thafuq, people?
Because most people want to marry someone who they think likes them for them. I wouldn’t marry someone who told me they want to marry me for money, because like… I’m not just a wallet with balls and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like me and just sees me as a means to an end. I’d be offended if I found out my wife did that.
If you marry for money you will earn every cent.
