• ddplf@szmer.info
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    6 days ago

    My man, you’re on tinder - show some understanding. She’s multitasking talking with 132 other men at the same time, looking for the most immaculate guy there is. I’d be talking like a brick wall either if I was getting the level of attention she is!

    • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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      6 days ago

      Not sure if you’re being entirely serious, but I do find it funny when people (often women in this context) self sabotage like this. By half assing 20 conversations, some number of good matches will bounce because you look like a boring person who can’t converse. You’re more likely to end up with someone who doesn’t care about your words, and then will probably treat you badly.

      • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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        17 hours ago

        In another thread somewhere, someone pointed out that over time dating apps tend to fill up with … let’s say people who perform poorly on dating. People who are good at conversing and picking good photos (which is distinct from being physically attractive) will enter the system, and then leave pretty quickly. People who are shit at talking, have poor photos, and date badly, will stay longer.

        • ronigami@lemmy.world
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          13 hours ago

          That may be true, but the platform also has an incentive to only give you bad matches. If you match with someone you are actually a good match for, you will probably leave the platform and therefore stop paying them money.

          • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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            12 hours ago

            This is also true. I think the app owners want you to get a steady trickle of so-so but imperfect matches. If you get nothing, you’ll leave. But if you keep almost getting it, you’ll come back. And maybe pay for that “premium” service. It’s a trash business model.

            Match-makers where you pay once has a better incentive, since the longer you’re in the system the more labor they have to do, but those tend to be expensive.

            OKCupid had a blog post about why you should never pay for dating services, but after they got bought by Match Group that vanished.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      immaculate

      Least rapey. Most likely to actually want to know her as a person. Someone who likes women.

      Very high standard. Not many meet it.

      Just remember guys: if you don’t want to hang out with them on their favorite shopping trip, or listen to gossip about their work frenemy, or include them on your favorite hobby, then it’s ok to just be single. Not everyone likes women. Find one you actually like spending lots of time with, or just hang out with your bros instead. All are good options.

      What you don’t want to do is pretend you’re having a good time, then get married and be miserable for the rest of your life because you don’t actually like them. That’s boomer shit.

      • ddplf@szmer.info
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        6 days ago

        Least rapey. Most likely to actually want to know her as a person. Someone who likes women. Very high standard. Not many meet it.

        Oh yeah, you better don’t go advising shit after that intro next time.

          • ddplf@szmer.info
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            5 days ago

            Wait, so you were serious about the rest of the quote? That makes it even more misandrist.

            • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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              5 days ago

              Many men don’t like women as people. That’s not even a controversial thing to say.

              Just look how popular the “men and women can’t be friends” view is.

              • ddplf@szmer.info
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                5 days ago

                Yes, and that’s a massive issue, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be concerned about misandria. No tolerance for misoginy and no tolerance for misandria, simple as

      • mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 days ago

        There are also many girls who do not care about shopping trips, gossip, work drama, and have hobbies of their own that you can be included in. Women are not intrinsically much different from men. Social conditioning is more than powerful enough to override whatever slight biological inclinations there may be. If you date normies, sure you’ll get people who fit the gender norms of the culture you’re dating in. Normies in another country will behave differently. I don’t think it’s good or right to have a mentality of “well if I don’t like hearing about makeup and dresses I guess speaking to women just isn’t for me”.